An everyday evening escalated into a confrontation about archaic gender roles, ultimately leading to my children and me missing dinner. The entrenched beliefs of my husband and his father collided with our family’s progressive approach, setting the stage for an unforgettable lesson that would redefine our household dynamics.
Marcus, my husband, hails from a highly traditional family, the oldest of two children. His mother has always been a stay-at-home mom, while his father was the sole financial provider. This setup shaped Marcus’s views, which occasionally clashed with the egalitarian principles I hold dear.
Our family dynamics stand in stark contrast to his upbringing. We both work full-time jobs and share household responsibilities equally, something my father-in-law could hardly accept. He has expressed his displeasure on numerous occasions, making it clear that he loathes the idea of me working and believes firmly that my husband should not have to engage in household chores.
Before my in-laws’ visit, my relationship with them was a complex mix of warm interactions and underlying tension. My mother-in-law, though shy and reserved, was always kind to me. She never openly criticized our way of life, but her silence often felt like passive agreement with her husband’s outdated views.
Conversely, my father-in-law never missed an opportunity to voice his disapproval of our modern lifestyle. At family gatherings, he would assert, “A woman’s place is in the home, not out working. A man should be the provider and the head of the household.” His old-fashioned views were clear, and he didn’t shy away from expressing them, despite the changing times.
Despite his harsh opinions, I tried to maintain a civil relationship with him for the sake of family harmony. We had several heated discussions over the years, where I defended our lifestyle choices firmly yet respectfully. I believed that respecting each other’s differences was the only way to keep the peace.
When my in-laws decided to stay with us for two weeks, I knew it would be challenging. Our usual routine was smooth and balanced: I handled breakfast, we ate lunch out, and Marcus took care of dinner. This system worked well for us, balancing our responsibilities and keeping our household running smoothly.
However, the day they arrived, I returned home from work, exhausted and starving, only to find that dinner was not on the table. The children were restless and kept asking about their meal, which led me to ask Marcus, but he wouldn’t even look at me. Then his father chimed in sharply, “Sarah, your husband didn’t cook tonight. You need to stop being lazy and do your duty as a wife and cook for your family, as a normal woman would.”
I was speechless, and my husband just sat there, nodding, avoiding eye contact. I felt my anger boiling over. They both needed to learn a lesson.
“Really?” I started, my voice trembling with rage. “So I should just come home after a full day of work and start cooking because that’s my ‘duty’?”